Welcome to a fantasy in which the Morning Show at WMBD Radio 1470 AM in Peoria, Illinois is a bar and the hosts are regular patrons. (These tavern stories are just metaphorical tales.)


More Tavern Tales

WMBD 1470 Radio



 

The WMBD 1470 Morning Show

Tavern Episode 4

A rooster ran into the Bar.

"I haven't seen you for a while!" exclaimed the bartender.

 

Rooster, (out of breath):

Is there a doctor in the house?

A man eating Oreos in a nearby booth:

Doc was here, but he left to join the Hippie Rodeo...

 

"At least the Circus is still in town..." sighed the bartender.

 

Yardbird (agitated):

Can I Please use someone's phone? There's a Donkey outback having an OBASM!

Local Maestro, (Baton in hand):

♫Stop Out the Back, Jack... ♫

 

"Names and faces may Change, but the breath always smells the same...," pondered the bartender on his chosen profession.

 

NimRod (in the John, styling hair under the blow dryer):  

Catch my Curve - just put in 5 bucks and you can make a call...

Joe (Biding his time by the juke Box):

A Bold toss; you almost hit that mug of Bush!

 

"God, give me cancer now!" Quoth the barkeep.

 

Cookie Man:

Wow! A shoe-phone with a money slot - I christen it, "BillBerry!"

Drum Major:

♫No Danny Boy ♫ it's a Pay-to-Play Phone!

Jack's Son, Junior (hiding under the pool table):

Yeah, I've tried it, but it didn't work for me...

Cock-a-doodle-doo:

By Chance, has anybody got Change for a Franklin?

Leader of the Band:

Not me - I can't handle a C note

 

"Sweet home in Heaven Above! If anybody needs Change around here, it's me!" moaned the bartender in sinking despair...

 

Tall Dark Stranger at the end of the bar:

I can give you change...

 

"Don't you and NimRod share a single party line on that gadget?" the bartender queried the stranger.

 

Tall Slick Lawyer:

Blah BlahBlah - Go away!I haven't spoken with him in ages...

Dipped in Milk:

Just have FAITH - Change is coming!

Baton (Down the Hatch):

♫I believe♫

 

"And while we're at it, didn't a friend of yours once propose a huge expansion of the Pentagon?" inquired the bartender.

 

Tall Community Organizer (Taking on Airs):

I hardly know that guy - Don't Change the subject - the subject is Change!

Jack's son's Daddy:

Keep HOPE alive ... Change is coming!

Conductor of Business as Usual:

♫There's a New World Coming♫

Dumb Cluck:

Let the man alone so he can make Change!

Tall Chicago Politician (snatching the hundred from the rooster):

Here Feather Brain - a New Lincoln for your Old Has Ben...

Rooster (incredulous):

That's your idea of Change?

Baton Rouge (makeup hastily applied):

♫All you need is LOVE♫

Double Stuf:

LOVE never changes... But the meaning of Change can Change!

Tall Reincarnation of Abe Lincoln (Franklin humming along):

♫Change, Change, Change - Change of Fools♫

Burnt Roaster:

@!##%@@!

All the Patronages of the tavern together:

♫♫♫♫♫All we are saying, is Give Change A Chance♫♫♫♫♫

 

"LET'S GET OUT OF HERE, WHILE WE STILL GOT A CHANCE!!!" screamed the Bartender, making a quick exit with his fine feathered friend in tow...

 

Running Comb:

Wright!


And from somewhere outback came a distant echo of days gone by:

Why can't we Dahl just get along?

 

Note: This bar is open 24 hours. Happy Hour has Changed to 5:30 to 9 am instead of 6 to 10 am.

Dear Reader,
If you are confused by lack of local knowledge
and desire interpretive explanation of the above parabolic tale
click here: Pin The Tale On The Donkey